Last Day

It's so hard to comprehend that my high school career will be really over tomorrow at 10:45 AM. Four long, and sometimes seemingly endless, years are coming to a close. I'm not quite sure how I feel about it. I mean obviously I am quite excited to get out of that hell disguised as a building. However, that excitement comes with a certain measure of uncertainty that I just can't adequately describe. My whole life is changing and it's never going to be the same. It seems like the only thing in my life that has ever been constant in my life. Even the people in my life never remained truly constant. Although I sometimes couldn't stand school, it was still a safe place to go, despite the sometimes dangerous situations that the other 'kids' at school created.

Regardless of that, it was a place that I knew would always be there. Once the clock hits 10:45 AM tomorrow though, I won't have that. Nothing will be constant in my life and it's a very frightening prospect. My entire adult life is looming before me and I'm not ashamed to say that I am scared to death. Regardless of my fears though, I still have to face them and move forward. I survived eighteen years with the family I have and I'm certainly not going to end it all now. Hell, just thinking about the last eighteen years makes me want to flash forward a couple of years, just to be far enough away from my childhood.

Regardless of how much I write, regardless of how afraid I am for the future, regardless of the sick feeling in the pit of my stomach that says something is wrong, tomorrow will still come just as fast as if I didn't have any of that. I just have to accept that and move forward with my head held high, all of those fears and feelings locked away safely in the back of my head.